Time. Time is that unrelenting monster that will eventually claim all of us. We never seem to have enough time, and most of us just waste it anyway.
What the hell does this have to do with me writing for Geek Juice? Nothing really, but it is the topic of this first installment of Sanity Is Razor Thin.
I was asked by Alex to contribute an article a week of my choosing, so here is the first one, they will not all be so self centered though, some will be movie reviews, some will be commentary on social trends and some will be just bitching about… whatever happens to be pissing me off that week, but this first one is about time.
No matter what I am doing, I am always short on time. I have a stack of movie and DVD screeners sitting by my desk that just keeps growing, seemingly faster then it shrinks. I have 3 weekly radio shows to record (assuming I am not appearing on someone else’s show as well), Accordingly I have 3 weekly radio shows to edit and upload. I have 3 weekly shows with topics or stories I have to read and familiarize myself with. I have a dozen plus magazines to read each week/month (Horrorhound, Rue Morgue, Videoscope, Video Watchdog, Scary Monsters, Filmfax, Screem, Cemetery Dance, Sound and Vision, HD Video Pro, Playboy, Hustler, Newsweek, Entertainment Weekly and Maxim). I have a stack of books about 40 high right now that are my “to read” stack (and that does not even consider the THOUSANDS of books on my shelf that I have to read at some point). I have a stack of X-Box 360 games about a dozen high that I have not found the time to get to yet (and some of them are 40 hour plus games). I have articles to write for magazines (that I hope to sell), webpages (like this one) as well as finishing my script by next October. I have to find time to schedule interviews (you have to work on their schedule) as well as work out the schedules for the 3 radio shows.
It always seems that I am feeling rushed. It might not sound like much but watching a screener DVD is not just finding 90 minutes to enjoy a movie. I have to watch the movie, the commentary track, the deleted scenes, the making of specials and so on, so a single DVD can take me 5 hours to get through. Then I feel compelled to research things on a movie; I read old reviews if the movie is not new, I read interviews with the cast and director or writer, I read about triva that might not have been on the extras and so on. So that movie is not just an hour and a half, it’s a full day event. As it stands right now, I have sitting next to me to review: Frankenhooker (Blu Ray), Evil Dead II (Blu Ray), Brain Damage, Direct Your Own Damn Movie, Produce Your Own Damn Movie, Cyclone, Evil Bong 3, Gingerdead Man 3, Necropolis, Famous T&A, White Slave, Filmgore, Mutant Hunt, Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt and Keep America Strong: Watch Horror Movies. Add to that a stack of short films sent to me by indy film makers.
For my Hustler article, I had to watch dozens of 70’s and 80’s porn films. Not bad, but after a while, it started to feel like WORK, like I was not watching these movies for myself but as an obligation. That scared me, I don’t EVER want to get into a position where I feel that watching movies I love is work. I felt time moving in on me since I had a contact with Larry Flynt Publications and I had a deadline. I hate to be rushed, I just hate it.
Maybe I just got in over my head, maybe I need to shut the fuck up and enjoy the tiny bit of success I have, maybe I need to figure out a better way to budget my time… maybe… maybe… maybe.
Now, I am not bitching about all of these things; lets face it, watching movies and playing games is a great way to make a living, BUT what I am talking about is that most people don’t seem to appreciate the time they have. My son just sits online and plays Halo and Call Of Duty all day, not out of fun or out of a feeling of doing something meaningful, he does it because “there’s nothing else to do”. In other words, he is just killing time until the next thing that kills time comes along. Is this normal for a teen today (keep in mind, I was a teen in the 80’s, shit was really different then)? Assuming anyone reads this, what does time mean to you?
I wish I had more time to actually watch all of the screeners I have, I wish I could just sit and play a video game ALL DAY without feeling like I am wasting my time, without feeling like I have not accomplished anything for not digging into that stack of books.
I want people to understand, when you hear Brad and Scott and Jerrid and Jillian and myself on the shows, alot more time goes into them than just sitting down and talking for 55 minutes. I once had a listener bitch to me that we didn’t talk about what we had indicated we would talk about that week, as we said we would on the previous show. He was making it sound like we somehow cheated him because during that week between shows shit happened and we as hosts could not do the research and/or viewing needed by the deadline to record.
The Geek Juice guys are a great lot, and I hope I work with them for some time and I promise, next week it will be a little more… up.