How does that old saying go, “never suffer fools lightly”? Okay, it is actually about suffering fools GLADLY but for my purposes I am using lightly which also works, anyway, this week we look at an unfortunate subculture of film nerds… rampant misogyny masquerading as criticism… no, not criticism, that is too general, lets go with bitching, yeah, bitching about stuff.
Now, I am hardly one that could be called politically correct in any way shape or form… for instance my ideas about “rape culture” or my constant use of the term “tranny”* are pretty polarizing stances yet they are fair stances with no hate or agenda behind them… the same can not be said for, ugh, The Wolf Pack. The Wolf Pack is a podcast on Blogtalk Radio and anyone that is serious about this knows that Blogtalk is the ghetto of the internet and these throwbacks still manage to fuck it up somehow and come off like the amateurs they are. This Wolf Pack is not like the dolts from the Hangover movies, no this is a group of repressed gays that are so scared of the vagina that they lash out at anything that bleeds for 5 days and does not die, they attack that which they most fear… the dreaded female. Yes, females who only exist to serve the men that make REAL movies or to be the victims of the men in movies according to these miscreants. Women are the problem with horror in particular it seems, not simply in film, but a bane on all of horror. You are the people that Siskel & Ebert talked about in the “Women In Danger” episode.
Before we get to into this, lets see who these members of The Wolf Pack are:
We have ringleader William Pattison/Eric Morse (who by the way, while using a pseudonym can’t stand people that write under pseudonyms). William Pattison/Eric Morse is a jabba the hutt creature straight out of a Harry Knowles wet dream. William Pattison/Eric Morse is the man that gave us some of the worst fanfic of (not) Jason Vorhees ever, the horrendous and Jason free Camp Crystal Lake book series that even diehard Friday The 13th fans discount as being unreadable**. He considers himself to be a major name in the “horror community” though and one who is personal friends with Michelle Pfeiffer and Johnny Depp (yeah, really, he thinks this)… he also screams and yells when no one is looking at him (cough Crystal Lake Memories rant cough***) because he is such a big man in both hollywood and in general**** and yet no one cares about him in the least.
Then we have a dingleberry calling himself Dr. Blood… hmmmm makes me think of menstruation, something that frightens these “men” to their very core. Anyway, Dr. Blood is one of those rare people that seems to think of himself as a real man simply by not being a WO(man). I don’t know much about this shithead since after his little smackdown by Mike White he locked his twatter and his blog ala shades of Lianne Spiderbaby after Mike White smacked her down as well.
There was also some sleepy guy that could not stop yawning as if he even he was tired of putting up with these cretins but he had little to add so he is of no consequence. Non-entities all.
Their show was (obstinately) about the controversy over Chris Alexander throwing journalist ethics out the window by penning a review of his own film under a pseudonym but quickly devolved into chauvinistic rants about how women filmmakers are no good. Now, I can’t stand Chris Alexander and what he did was VERY inappropriate as editor of Fangoria, in fact it should get him fired if things were just, but it won’t, he will riggle out of this like all of his bullshit and he will drag the name of Fangoria even farther into the muck. I can’t stand Fangoria any longer and I have had a few very public battles with Mr. Alexander myself, so I am in no way defending what he did. If that had remained the topic I might have even agreed with these guys but somehow women in horror took over and… well… I will just let them explain it.
(Transcriptions provided courtesy of Mike White via Impossible Funky Productions)
EM: The Soskas are not horror directors: Horror directors know about tension, they know about character, they know how to use gore correctly, they know how to put in a scare. The Soskas do not scare. They don’t have it in them.
DB: Well, they’re women. That’s the thing. Women don’t know how to do it. I haven’t seen a horror movie made by a woman apart from… uh, no. No, I was going to say, um, that Near Dark director, the one that did The Hurt Locker as well. I can’t remember her soddin’ name.
EM: I can name one female director that I can honestly say made a very damn good horror film. That’s Mary Lambert and Pet Semetary.
DB: I thought you were going to say that one. But then, to follow it up she did Pet Semetary 2, which wasn’t very good.
EM: Yeah, that was a piece of crap.
I don’t personally know the Soska sisters nor their work, but to dismiss them simply for being WOMEN is a little (lot) moronic. What about Clive Baker, are his movies crap because he is one of the gays or does his maleness override that? How about Chester Novell Turner, he is black so that means he inherently is not as a good of a director as a white guy right? See how easily this ‘argument’ is torn apart?
Later on from Dr. Time Of The Month:
DB: All these women directors, I think they’ve got one good film in them eventually, or somewhere in their careers. But, they’re not consistent. And, if they do pull of something that’s fucking scary, it’s because they’ve been in the right place and the right time with a good fucking script behind them which was usually written by a man.
DB: Now, what will happen to Jen and Silvia [Soska] is they’ll meet boyfriends, get knocked up, get married, probably not in that order, and disappear. They’ll just disappear off the face of the earth. It’s happened to so many women, you know. whether they’re actresses or directors or cameramen or whatever you want to call it. Whatever roles they’ve had in the horror industry or the film industry. As soon as they get hitched, they settle down, they get a real normal job, they can’t be bothered with this. I mean, look at Barbara Crampton. She disappeared for like 30 years and just decided to come back recently to get some convention money.
Just wow man. So women in movies can only make a good product if a man is helping them and even then all they want to do is get some dick and settle down huh? I am hazarding a guess here, you don’t deal with many women in day to day life do you? Failing to make eye contact with the lady at the free clinic does not count. Sure you don’t want to blame their cycle specially for anything? Or that having a vagina will render you obsolete by design?
After Mike White (and many others) showed the ‘Pack’ how ignorant they were being Morse posted this to facebook:
HAHAHAHAHAHA… did you really just use that tired old “Don’t fuck with the lion unless you want the claws” bit? Yeah, we are afraid of you Morse, you of the Blogtalk uselessness. My website is http://www.1201beyond.com/ take me down shithead, take me down so hard you braggart and make it hurt. Pompous windbags such as yourself make it all that much harder for real horror fans and real broadcasters to do their job, so good on you for being a obstructionist. I also think that this post in Sanity Is Razor Thin will be giving you a far greater boost in hits than you will know what to do with, yes I have looked at the hits your blog gets and I get your monthly total in a few hours, so you really are a big man… in the minds eye exclusively. I have run into your kind before in my work for Hustler, and you are, to put it frankly, one of the reasons the entire horror field is looked upon with such disdain.
*Which I STILL am getting shit over.
**Seriously, Jason’s mask is cursed and possesses people… hey Morse Blob, did you read enough of the Arcudi/Mahnke Masque to come up with that?
“It’s amazing how history repeats itself. Peter Bracke did a three hour interview with me for his book Crystal Lake Memories and then edited me completely out of the first printing of the book. Then because I royally bitched about it (shit, people, I bought a copy of the book and had a party only to find I got screwed over) Bracke added a paragraph about me and my books to the second printing….How very white of him….
Well, guess what? The production company that did the documentary Crystal Lake Memories have screwed me over yet again. That’s right, people. The Camp Crystal Lake novels were completely ignored and I wasn’t even offered an interview (Shit I would have been jumping for joy to just be a DVD extra). They have the hypocritical gall to call this documentary the complete history. Well, here is some information that should have interested these documentarians. For fans of Friday the 13th from 1994 to 1998, when Jason X came out, the only fresh Friday the 13th fans had were my books, and because of the ignorance and lack of thought by Berkley Book, there were limited copies of these for the fans. It was a quest for a fan to get any of my books. They were like the holy grail to them during what the fans have called “the dark times”. But, that isn’t significant in “the complete history” of Friday the 13th. For those fans who struggled for those precious books it was very significant. I’m sorry but you are hypocrites and liars to call your documentary “the complete history”. It is called false advertising and fraud. Eric Morse and The Camp Crystal Lake novels are a significant part of Friday the 13th and deserve recognition. I think a large number of fans would agree.”
****Okay, enough with the fat jokes, that was the last one.
Tell me to shut the fuck up at firstname.lastname@example.org